This story appears in FCA Magazine’s January/February 2016 issue. Subscribe today!


"Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.”

– 1 Corinthians 13:13 (NLT)

When I was 16, I had a trainer at the local Nautilus Gym who was an absolute beast. He was on the bubble of an NFL roster and preparing for tryouts, but also investing in local athletes to help us be our best. It would have been easy for our training sessions to be all about him, but they never were. He knew our sport, our goals, and even the position we wanted to play. He tailored every single detail of our program to ensure we would compete at our absolute best. He took a personal interest in us and made sure we stayed on track and kept our goals in sight.

I have never made more significant progress in such a short time before or since. Why? Because he loved us. He cared about the details. He served us. Don’t get me wrong, though—this wasn't some soft love that let us slack off. It was intense; he wouldn't accept excuses. But we never doubted his motive for pushing us that hard.

The one thing that separates the great trainers from the good is actually pretty simple: love. More know-how and technical skill are important, but you can learn those things. More desire and motivational skills are good too, but those who coach or train others and get their absolute best love more than the rest.

Love is the great separator. It’s the most powerful force on earth. In the end, nothing can overcome love, and love can overcome everything. Love always wins.

Love makes you care more. You care about the little things. It’s about more than performance; you care about the person, and everybody knows it. When people know you genuinely care about them, they will give you their best.

Love makes you serve more. You go the extra mile to help others. You set aside what you want and give everything you have to make others better.

Caring for people in the medical fitness field for more than 20 years, I've learned the following four dimensions of love are indispensable.

Attention. In a world full of distractions, showing undivided attention is Step 1. It’s common to be in the same room—but still entirely different worlds—with people you care about. Unplugging from technology and making eye contact is a good start. We need to put technology in its place—back in the box! If you want to show love, pay attention.

Affirmation. We all need those who are most important to us to affirm what’s best in us. Speaking words of life breathes confidence and courage into others. We need to see their unique gifts and talents and help them discover their path and purpose. Learning to see as God sees also helps us accept and appreciate our differences. If you want to show love, let people know what you see.

Affection. Positive physical and emotional connections prevent disconnection and isolation. Even the way you look at one another can communicate how you feel. Sometimes we forget how important closeness is in cultivating connection. If you want to show love, appropriate physical and emotional interaction is key.

Accountability. Love doesn’t just look the other way; it engages, even in hard times. It accepts you where you are, but calls you higher. Learning to hold yourself to a higher standard is the starting point. When others give you permission to do the same for them, we all get better and love wins.

Jesus was the master at showing us how to love. He paid attention to the hearts of those He loved, seeing right through external appearances.

Jesus was also the chief encourager, affirming God’s purposes in others even after difficult failures. (Peter is the most obvious example.) Love shows up biggest when times are toughest!

You get the sense Jesus was probably pretty affectionate, since most people were fighting to be close to him and He regularly engaged with children. But at the same time, Jesus held those He loved accountable. He ultimately wanted them to become who He designed them to be, and He wouldn’t allow compromise.

When Jesus was asked to name the most important commandment, what was His answer? Love. Love God with everything you have and everything you are, and love each other (Mark 12:30). And, in the end, He paid the ultimate price to prove His love for us, sacrificing His very life for ours.

Consider this a salute to all the trainers, coaches, parents and volunteers who love, care and serve. You are bringing out the best in all those around you by the way you love! I hope this inspires you to keep moving toward God’s best in all areas of your life and to love others along the way. 

-FCA-

–This article appears in the January/February 2016 issue of FCA Magazine. To view the issue digitally, click here: January/February 2016 FCA Mag Digital 

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