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A Father's Love

Published on March 01, 2016

by Dave Pond

This story appears in FCA Magazine’s March/April 2016 issue. Subscribe today!


Golf, perhaps more than any other sport, is as much a mental exercise as it is physical. At the Division-I or pro level, everyone has a tremendous amount of talent, so it’s those pressure-packed drives and putts that separate the winners from the rest of the pack. It’s also an individual sport, with bad shots leaving a player feeling like they’re on an island, so a solid support network—a relationship with Christ, a seasoned caddie, or family and friends in the crowd—can serve as a rock during times of doubt.

For years, University of Oregon senior Caroline Inglis has displayed the type of poise it takes to win big. She won her first of multiple state titles as a freshman in high school, and she’s followed that up with the greatest career in Oregon women’s golf history.

But where does that mental edge come from? How do champion golfers rise to the top? For Inglis, the “pressure” of big moments on the course pales in comparison to the emotional turmoil she’s faced away from golf, when the man who taught her the game, a man who was a central figure in Inglis’ support network, faced an unfortunate battle with leukemia.

That man was Inglis’ father, Bill, who’s still on Caroline’s mind during every round of golf she plays.

• • •

Bill Inglis relished the game of golf more than anyone Caroline has ever met, but it took some time for him to convince her of the beauty of the sport.

“I’ve never met anyone who enjoyed golf, studied it, or was more invested in it than my father,” she said. “He taught me the value of working hard and practicing and how that would pay off—something I still hold so dear and true to my game today.”

Caroline’s parents joined a country club when she was 12, so she finally gave golf a chance. A multi-sport athlete growing up, Caroline saw golf as an opportunity to spend time with her dad. And, given her natural abilities, it quickly became a realistic shot at a college scholarship.

She won the first of her three Oregon state titles as a freshman, which took even Bill, her “best friend,” by surprise.

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"I felt like I was home again, and at peace."           -Caroline Inglis

“He was absolutely baffled the first time I won state,” she said. “Even I was. But he was just as excited the second and third time, and he was always there, waiting for me with a huge hug, trying to choke back the tears.

“I think he was really proud of me, and I’m so glad we shared the game together.”

The summer before her junior year, Bill was diagnosed with leukemia. After a year of treatment, doctors recommended he undergo a stem cell transplant to increase his chances of survival, so he and Caroline’s mother, Laurie, moved to Portland.

Caroline stayed back in Eugene, alone in her family’s house, for the first five months of her senior year. She went through a “rebellious phase or partying and disregarding my faith,” reasoning that if God let such terrible things happen to her best friend, He must not care about her or her family.

Despite her anger, though, Caroline continued to read the Bible occasionally.

“I don’t remember the exact moment where I realized, ‘Hey, I need God in my life,’” she said, “but there was an instant when God’s Word spoke right into my heart and really made me think about how I was living. I realized God didn’t cause my dad to have cancer, and God didn’t make my parents move away. The end of my senior year was like a turning point in my life, and I truly grasped God’s love and His purpose for my life. It was an awesome feeling to be brought back to the heart of my faith.

“It felt like I was home again, and at peace.”

• • •

Caroline joined the Ducks for the 2012-13 season. With her dad’s cancer in remission, life soon regained some sense of normalcy. She put together the second-lowest scoring average on the team. She’d also been invited by a teammate to FCA, where she quickly connected with other athletes on campus.

“It’s so nice to be able to come together with other athletes who get what I’m going through,” Caroline said. “I look forward to FCA each Tuesday because it’s a time to unwind from a busy week, just relax and be in fellowship with other followers.”

The more Caroline participated in FCA on campus, the more she wanted to be a part of FCA’s greater mission. Toward the end of the year, she volunteered to be a Huddle Leader at the Pacific Northwest FCA Sports Camp, held each year in Nampa, Idaho.

Meanwhile, her team had qualified for the 2013 NCAA Championships in Athens, Georgia, and Bill was cleared by his doctors to travel across the country to watch his daughter play.

“On the flight home, Dad had a blood clot, and he was taken off the plane to a hospital in Arizona,” Caroline said. “The doctors—without asking his transplant doctor in Portland—put in a filter (for the clot). But it was unsanitary, and the filter gave him an infection that ultimately led to multiple body system failure.”

Bill passed away two days later.

“Having to pull the plug on your own father is … tough,” she said. “My mom and I were there for it all, and I can honestly say I witnessed some things that I’ll never get out of my head and that will haunt me forever.”

The Nampa FCA Camp was just two weeks away. Caroline’s world was—understandably—flipped upside-down. She was unsure, but she decided to attend.

“I’m so glad that I did; it was a life-changing week for me,” Caroline said. “It was so difficult for me to pour into the girls in my Huddle and give them the love and attention they needed.”

Erin Day, wife of Alaska FCA State Director Heath Day and the Nampa FCA Camp Women’s Huddle Leader, helped Caroline get through the week. Day’s prayer, love and support allowed Caroline to guide her Huddle’s talks about tough things in their lives.

“It was such a joy to see the Lord working through the girls and changing their hearts during such a small period of time,” Caroline said. “I learned so much that week about leadership, fellowship and my own faith. … Man, am I glad I went.”

• • •

Over the next two years, while the shock of her dad’s passing slowly subsided, Caroline became more and more involved on campus—both in the lives of her teammates and at Oregon’s FCA Huddle, a place where she’s found true community.

Tony Overstake, Oregon’s FCA chaplain, had many talks with Caroline after she lost her father and struggled to move forward.

“The thing that amazed me was the depth of her faith and the resilience of her passion for Christ, despite the very confusing and difficult circumstances she faced,” Overstake said. “It was very clear that she was deeply filled with Jesus, and—despite the sudden loss of her dad—never wavered in her faith or in the way she reflected Him.”

During the 2014-15 season, Caroline posted a 72.31 scoring average (the lowest in school history) and won the individual Pac-12 Championship (a first for the program).

Caroline’s first thought after winning? “Wow, Dad would be so happy. He wouldn’t even believe that I won this tournament.”

The rounds—and the celebrations that follow victories—are forever changed without her dad’s waiting, welcoming embrace.

“To be honest, it’s so difficult to compete without my dad watching me,” Caroline said. “I miss him … I can’t even explain how hard it is to not be able to share these things with him.

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"[Caroline] has the kind of faith in Christ that, by you just being around her, it inspires you to strengthen your own relationship with Him."        -Brenna Murphy, Oregon Women's Golf

“But I’m so grateful for the support system my mom has given me on and off the course. She’s such an amazing and faithful woman, and she’s always there to support me. Our relationship has gotten so much stronger, and I’m so grateful that she’s been here to share my wins and losses with me.”

Caroline’s unique and tragic experiences have fueled more than on-the-course poise under pressure. She’s been the team captain the past two seasons, and her perspective serves as light for her teammates.

“When she speaks, people listen,” Oregon head coach Ria Scott said. “There’s something very genuine and experience-driven to what Caroline has to say. As coaches, Caroline’s character is part of why we’re so confident in her.”

Caroline (or “Coco,” as her teammates refer to her) has had a huge influence on teammate Brenna Murphy, both in golf and in her own walk with Christ.

“Anyone who knows Caroline or watches her in play will tell you what a class act she is,” Murphy said. “She has the kind of faith in Christ that, by you just being around her, it inspires you to strengthen your own relationship with Him.

“For Caroline, it’s more than simply going to church once a week or reading the Bible every now and then. It’s about believing in the Word and going out and living it. Even if someone didn’t know of her faith, they’d be able to tell there’s something different about Caroline, an inspiring quality that touches all those around her.”

• • •

As Caroline’s collegiate career draws to a close, she plans to turn pro and attend LPGA Qualifying School. Through all of her heartache and triumph over the past few years, she’s learned only one thing is certain in life.

“My favorite Scripture is 2 Corinthians 5:7, which tells us to walk by faith and not by sight,” she said. “That verse was very special to my dad and will always be meaningful to me. God leads me wherever I go, even when I can’t see where I’m going or understand why. Athletic talent and playing sports comes and goes, but God is forever. Even though I’m a talented golfer, I’m nothing without Christ, and my purpose is to serve God in whatever that may be."

-FCA-

–This article appears in the March/April 2016 issue of FCA Magazine. To view the issue digitally, click here: March/April 2016 FCA Magazine Digital

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Photos courtesy of Oregon Athletics and Brenna Murphy