This story appears in FCA Magazine’s May/June 2015 issue. Subscribe today!
Several years ago, three major college football coaches were fired for extreme cases of “coach rage.” The firings were highly publicized, but the sad truth is those coaches were probably just the tip of iceberg when it comes to “losing it”—not just in the sports world, but in every facet of business or family life and, yes, even ministry.
I’ve been guilty of emotional outbursts that were clearly out of bounds, but also the strange, bottled-up, inward emotion that can be just as destructive. If you’re being honest, so have you!
Emotions are tricky, because there are many that add incredible beauty to life: true romance, comeback victories, having a new baby or, of course, that first bite of New England fried clams.
Emotions can be either the “spice of life” or the “stink of life.” The Bible has much to say about emotions, and I believe that God wants us to rule over our emotions—in the name of Jesus Christ—through intentionality, intimacy and influence.
INTENTIONALITY
“Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” -Proverbs 16:32 (ESV)
In our quest to be champions, record breakers or “rulers,” the wise King Solomon learned there’s something even more important—to rule your own spirit. Leadership requires intentionality, but it also takes intentionality to rule your spirit—your heart, beliefs, convictions and emotions!
Biblically ruling your spirit starts with a trusting, saving relationship with Jesus Christ. You intentionally recognize your sin and repent; you intentionally trust and call on the death and resurrection of Jesus to save you from your sin; and then you intentionally begin to follow Jesus as Lord.
Our emotions must follow our convictions. Our convictions must follow Jesus. But all of it starts first with Jesus loving and choosing us.
INTIMACY
“The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.” -Proverbs 15:28 (ESV)
Much like those fired coaches, we all tend to struggle with circumstances that interrupt our definition of success. When that happens, we can very easily pour out evil emotions from our mouths and our body language.
But when we are intimate with Jesus—closely connected with Him through Bible study, prayer, church and thinking His thoughts—then we ponder what He wants us to do in each circumstance. This is possible only through the power of the Holy Spirit, who promises us that we can be filled regularly (Ephesians 5:22) with Jesus’ perspective. We can have a running conversation with Jesus through any situation, no matter what our emotions are trying to persuade us to do!
As athletes and coaches, we can sometimes be in the limelight. But keep in mind that Jesus was constantly in the limelight in His day, and He still fought to spend time alone with God the Father. If we don’t do the same, we will implode emotionally, and then explode on others.
INFLUENCE
“The wise of heart is called discerning, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.”
-Proverbs 16:21 (ESV)
The one who rules his spirit quiets the chaos around him. A discerning coach not only thinks about his words, but also how he says them. He is then able to persuade his athletes to take the right course of action. A coach’s self-control after a bad call or costly mistake can get his team refocused and back on track when they’re about to fall apart. That’s what great leadership is all about!
But great influence is God-directed and God-honoring, and it comes through a Spirit filled with intentional intimacy that is diligently trained in the quietness of your soul.
*****
Emotional first reactions can be dangerous. Coaches, captains, parents, pastors and other leaders– please do not allow your emotions to lead you. When Jesus cleansed the temple because of the people’s dishonor of God’s house (Luke 19:45-46; John 2:13-16), we can safely assume He took the time to ponder over the situation, and then took an attitude of conviction, flavored with fervency, that came from His emotions.
Face it: we can either allow emotion to be God’s tool to bring Him honor, or we can allow Satan to use our emotion to make us fools. The reality of Jesus in your life leads to a foundation of conviction, which provides the appropriate emotion that comes from God. Now that’s the spice of life!
–This article appears in the May/June 2015 issue of FCA Magazine. To view the issue in its entirety digitally, click here: May/June 2015 FCA Mag Digital
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